Spillly with 3 Ls

Dear ABSA credit card division.

Posted on March 10th, by spillly in Business, Motivation. 38 comments

I am an ABSA client and have been for close on 16 years now in my personal
capacity. My friends all laughed at me when I mentioned that I have a
Thousand Bucks credit facility on my ABSA credit card. This has never been
an issue because I always keep some cash in the card – why pay interest
right ?!


I figured that I own a business, my house and car are paid for, I have no
debt and some cash in my Card – how hard would this be to increase my limit?


So just for the fuck of it I called the toll free number 0861 462 273 and
was put through the usual computer call centre and pushed 1, pushed 1,
pushed 4, pushed * and finally pushed 1 again.


This is not the actual transcripts of the conversation I had earlier with a
very sweet, poorly spoken lady, at the ABSA credit card division in
Pretoria, but it went something like this:


Sir, Please gimme all your personal details, ID, Card Number, Postal’s, blah
blah (which I did in a flash – cause I’m efficient like that!)


May I ask you some questions? Sure. (and so the barrage began…)


How much do you earn gross? How much do u earn Nett? Do u have a bond?


How much do u owe on your car?


Do you have a maid?


Do you have pets?


Do you have a gardener ?


Do you have DSTV?


Do you have internet / Telkom ?


Do you have insurance?


Do you have any policy payments?


How much do you spend on groceries a month ?


How much is your cell phone bill a month?


How much do you spend on petrol?


Do you have a clothing account?


Do you have a food account?


Do you pay for schooling?


And so it continued. By the time she was out of breath and the smoke had
cleared from my brain, she punched in a few numbers in that main frame super
brain computer and the answer was puked out much to my amazement.


But wait, she asked how much would I like to increase the limit to. I took a
nice round number and said R10k please.


She sniggered a tad and said “sorry sir – you don’t qualify for R10,000!”


I then sheepishly asked so how much do I qualify for ma’am?


Take a flyer…


Take a fucking guess what I’m worth?




Five fucking thousand Rands – cause I don’t have debt and a fucking Edgars


Dear ABSA credit card division – you know where I wanna swipe my card next


Yours sincerely.


38 responses to “Dear ABSA credit card division.”

  1. idale says:

    Sho! So it’s official, I’m worth at least 10 times more than you! How pathetic is that!

  2. Dont Let me waste Your time says:

    @idale well that means you have 10 times the debt bud!

  3. Dont Let me waste Your time says:

    they never asked what my monthly stripper bill was ?

  4. Dont Let me waste Your time says:

    update: #ABSA extend limit by a further R20k.

  5. Rob says:

    So how did you manage to finally extend it?

  6. Dont Let me waste Your time says:

    dear Rob, they finally just gave me a R20k limit. bankers, wankers..

  7. jakes says:

    ABSA have lost vision. 1. Poorly paid staff. ( fact )
    2. Poorly manned branches 3. don’t care a damn attitude.
    4. Act as if they are doing you a favour.
    5. Have absa ever compared themselves with FNB OR NEDBANK, including marketing strategies.6. Rating 1/10. Pathetic, Pathetic, Pathetic.

  8. Gen says:

    I just randomly came across this when searching for Absas credit card line number. Had a good laugh, as you have perfectly described the conversations Ive been having with Absa for the passed 3 days trying to get my card reissued after it was cloned. Thanks for my early morning smile today πŸ˜€

  9. […] Dear ABSA credit card division. | Spillly – I just randomly came across this when searching for Absas credit card line number. Had a good laugh, as you have perfectly described the conversations Ive been having … […]

  10. Gary says:

    I have an ABSA card with a mere R 10 K limit and deposit around R 200 K into the card each month, my salary is 100 K p/m and they offered me a 1500-00 credit card increase.
    Insulted is an understatement.

  11. […] Dear ABSA credit card division. | Spillly – I just randomly came across this when searching for Absas credit card line number. Had a good laugh, as you have perfectly described the conversations Ive been having … […]

  12. Sadly I too am one of those very poorly handled clients in concern of my credit card and limit !! I ended up countless times with great disappointment !! Every time I try to contact them I have been put on hold or gets such poor service even after I have been approved with an increase it never appeared on my credit limit! !! I have treated my credit card with such respect countless time I have cleared my balance so that no amount or balance gets carried over to the next month !! I have spoken to so many people I have lost count in regards !! The last few phone calls I have made to try an selvage some kind of response I was told that they are months behind in servicing their clients needs !! So sadly I am a very unhappy client after all these years as a credit card holder by ABSA where does one go from here !!!!!

  13. patrick ndlela says:

    absa or abas pathetic ,time to look for a better alternative,no wonder Baclays left.

  14. Edward says:

    I got my first credit card today at absa and they said i qualify for a limit of R25k.
    I don’t know if i should cry or laugh. Is it bad or good?

    • spillly says:

      I use my Credit card as a debit card and always try keep cash in it rather than use the banks money at stupid interest rates.

      If you need it then just be careful not to get into too much debt

  15. Jean says:

    You think you have problems? Try to close your account when you no longer need it: pathetic!

    • spillly says:

      Tell me about it! I moved to FNB and had to go into an ABSA branch (GASP!) twice to shut my account down.

      Banks beware – here comes Bitcoin!

    • ShadowX777 says:

      Yep – I wanted to close my credit card with ABS today. Entirely paid up, with no outstanding balances etc. Went in to see the consultants, couldn’t, because the mandate were taken away from branches, so I had to sit for 2 hours on the red phone in the branch, trying to get the account closed. Just to close an account with no arrears or outstanding amount? Did not entirely succeed. Will call again tomorrow when the system has updated….

  16. Bophelo Mboso says:

    Why can’t I use my new issued credit card?

  17. Jay says:

    Bobo at the credit card department is very arogant and no customer service.She is very rude .with her being there i dont think absa will get any new clients cause she thinks she is tooo clever by rejecting new customers.wish absa can remove her and put someone with good customer service.

  18. Johnny says:

    is ABSA aware that they are loosing clients because of their credit card division?

    I have been using ABSA since my school days, hell I’m still using ABSA today in my adult hood, I’m no longer happy at ABSA
    I feel like they do not even care how long I have been with them… I’m moving to Nedbank soon once I close my ABSA
    credit card, ABSA service sounds like “I don’t care about you just give me you money and die poor”

  19. thabiso says:

    Still waiting for absa to remove restriction on my credit card from 06/03/2017 to date.credit card employees are not helpful and yet i deposited money and cannot withdraw.paid initiation fee as well

  20. Walter says:

    Thanks for this…I just want to increase my limit by R8000 but they wont let me cause i was R200 behind and paid it immediatly so the card is open again.

  21. craig says:

    Lady from Absa credit card division called me with view to increasing my credit limit. She proceeded to ask me for the usual ID, postal address, name and when I receive my salary each month.
    When I refused to discuss my salary with her, she was very rude and arrogant and started shouting into the phone that she sees it on my bank statement and wanted to confirm it. I shouted back that I was not interested in their credit limit increase and she hung up without even saying goodbye.
    Downright rude and deserves to be fired for her behavior. Do Absa treat all customers in this manner. All customers deserve respect or else we will bank elsewhere

  22. Kiki says:

    I earn a decent salary and always pay well over the required amount on my credit card every month. I’ve been a client for over 25 years and now they refuse to increase my limit. Can’t wait to pay this effing card off and close all my accounts. ABSA, you suck big time!!!!

  23. Reace says:

    You think that’s bad, I’m 19 and was given a card with a 25K limit (my credit score isn’t 600 or something ITS 3, yes 03 ??!!!) are they trying to kill the youngsters of today, imagine the poor 19 year olds that don’t understand the interest etc they are totally screwed.

  24. Cedric says:

    I want to increase my credit card but I’m out of airtime can Absa call me on 0616315738 please

  25. Cedric says:

    I want to increase my credit card limit online how can I do it or can Absa call me on 0616315738

  26. MIldred says:

    My credit card & debit card linked, absa blocked my card requested for 3months payslips or working contract, i sent the copies to marcia emmanuel, she took forever to reply to my email, now she’s asking again for more proof. WHAT THE HELL. i need help 0815898835

  27. Imanot rockafella says:

    My credit card limit was dropped from 20k to
    5k without notice.
    I contacted them and asked why, and got what appeared to be a computer generated response generalizing something about discrepancies on my account (no idea what, as they didn’t specify) and that they would not be returning my credit limit.
    So I sent a mail telling them that my credit card is a backdrop in times of emergency, and has been for close on 20 years, and that dropping the limit to a quarter of the credit a signed for when I opened the card is not acceptable and leaves me nervous.
    I formally requested that they increase it back to what it was.

    They responded saying they could forward my request on to the credit limit increase department, but would need the following documents:

    β€œ3 (three) months recent payslip
    Employment letter/contract
    6 (six) consecutive months salary slips Payment advice from Pension Fund
    Payment advice from insurance company
    Source of interest income (Fixed deposit certificate, bonds, etc.)
    3 (three) months personal and business bank statements
    Last 2 financial statements – not older than 6 (six) months, if older
    Signed management accounts not older than 2 (two) months
    Unqualified letter from registered account/bookkeeper
    Lease agreements
    Proof of settlements on defaults and judgements

    Once we receive the above documents your request will be up for review.”

    This is absurd and has GOT to be a joke!

    I’m done with these clowns!

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