Yesterday was my BIRTHDAY – thanks to all my FRIENDS that called. As for the rest of you >
The Things that have changed since I turned 35:(in no particular order. Some might say its rather random. Like my last few
girlfriends) 1. It takes a little longer to piss 1st thing in the morning. No pressure.
(No pressure) 2. I swear my left ball sack is half a centimeter closer to the floor when
I stand up. 3. I am listening to much heavier metal! 4. I’m a lot less tolerant of religion and Mariah Carey. 5. I am driving one hellava lot slower and more considerately 6. I am tired of the “jol” 7. I am growing fonder and fonder of less cigarettes and more whiskeys. 8. I look at babies and go ahhhh, but I still don’t really know if I want
one. 9. All I want for my birthday are pot-plants and shoehorns.
10.I’m no longer afraid of strippers. I embrace the culture.11.I gym harder and longer and more frequently than ever before, with fewer
results. 12.I admit I love to look at 21 year old girls but I know we cant have a
conversation as I don’t know who Hannah Montana is. 13.I don’t love my work more than last year but I appreciate the fact I’m
more responsible towards it and the people I support. 14.I use an umbrella to walk from my car to the office if it rains. I don’t
care like I did when I was in school. 15.My therapist “fired” me cause I am cured. 16. I often think in terms of tweets. 140, 140, 140. And if you don’t know
what that means I’m too old to explain it. Grow up and embrace technology. 17. I love art for arts sake. Pretty pictures make me happy on the inside. 18. I love Cape town, but I doubt I will ever really live there. 19. My toenails grow at a stupidly fast pace. I hope that my kids one day
will never have to clip them. 20. I admire architects for what they can make. I hate architects for what
they do make. 21. My car is a 3,7 litre fuel guzzler. I am ok with that. You should be
too, or are you a vegetarian? 22. This list is no longer about what’s changed so ill finish it off with a
flourish: 23. YOU never wrote on my facebook wall to wish me happy birthday. See you
in hell. Older, wiser, jaded and single Brent.