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Dear friends, followers, stalkers and Paeds.
(no family included here…move on)..

I was born Jewish. I know this cause 20% of my cheese-merchant Foreskin is
no longer with me.
I never really did the whole “oooh ahhh its Xmas” vibe. I often went to the
Goys for lunch or had a beer with some friends of friends. I even bought a
present or two, under duress.

I hate the bloody Christmas carols in retail stores and shopping centres. I
hate shopping centres. I especially despise them over this period. People
spending money they don’t have on presents people don’t want cause a 2000
years ago some hippy decided to start a movement. I all I want is things to be open on the 25th. I want pizza and beers and I
want them delivered. Is it too much to ask?
Am I selfish?

To those of you that believe the hype and drop cash on family you cant wait
to leave. Enjoy. Its your xmas cracker so you pull it.

Be well. Behave. Believe.
Enjoy the beach bitches and don’t forget the suntan.

Im out.

Bonus Pro Tip: Christmas lights may increase the possibility of being caught
while peeing outside. Related: My neighbours are fucking prudes.

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