In the beginning was Me. and God. and Chocolate. A year in review.
I started this Blog as a way to Vent, Rant, make myself laugh and Rag ex Facebook friends. It’s now come into being as something completely different. It’s now a, dare I say it.. Journal of my life. So I’m embracing this and am doing a re-cap of the past 12 months starting in no particular order and no ranking anything in any way. It’s just what pops in my mind as it does. So not using a PowerPoint presentation and doing way more than 3-4 bullet points per page, here it is:
I’m booking for Linkin Park – do you wanna come?
In October my Best Girlfriend Joanne (@TheJoLurie) and I went to Berlin to see Linkin Park. Let’s just say that Jo was Rosh (head of) Logistics. I did fuck-all in the planning of this trip and fortunately I was the least “frisked” person at every airport at the most ridiculous times of the morning. That would be Jo. Now in January this year I had a “resolutions” list. I wanted to see one of my top 5 bands live. Linkin Park would not be top 5 per say, but they are up there with the best in the world at the moment and I do own every album so why not. Fun was had. Blood was spilt. Old age was felt. Lesson learned: Book seated tickets next time. Berlin was amazing and cold. I will go back in the summer one day. Word of the holiday : kartuffelpoffenn. Thanks for the memories Chop!
But Officer, my wife can drive me home
While we on the subject of Joanne, lets recap the night we were arrested. Drinks? Check! Drugs? Check! Strippers? Check! Police road block? Fuuuck! After 45 minutes of bitter pleading with the kind officers who would just not take a bribe, a higher ranked officer, did. Let’s say a small fortune was withdrawn from a near-by ATM (which was very convenient for said officers). On the way home I just happened to get stopped in another (YES!) roadblock. Fortunately I was rather sober by this stage and was let go, to go cry myself to sleep, at home. Lesson learned: 1. Carry cash. Always. 2. Never drink n drive. Hello, is that roses taxis??
This is the paragraph you all should not read. If we have shared a bed, skip this part please.
There was the 21 year old that broke me. And by broke, I mean I lost a lung puking for 2 days after a rather large binge session. She just laughed. Both times. Even when I was standing on the side of the highway hurling my heart out while she smoked away and giggled.
The crazy old school girl that called me at the worst hour from her car with a black police officer sitting next to her. Let’s say she was a little over the limit and not a little (a lot) aggressive towards the cops. I’m still scared.
There was the brunette who let me walk a million miles in the cold dark night back to her place while she shagged another in the bed I was going to sleep in.
Then there were the twitter flings. Ok there was only one. Again, repeat to self “ I am not 21 anymore!”
I won’t discuss the REAL relationships. There were a few. They were real and meant something to me. Thank you.
1. I am really not 21 anymore.
2. Thanks for teaching me a bit more about myself- what I want and what I dislike. You have all made me a better person and I’m sure that a special lady one day with thank you for it.
The Work front
In march, after a long 3 year battle with my father, my sister and I bought out his shares in the business we have owned together for 16 years. It freed my mind, my soul but not my cash flow. To say it was ugly is an understatement. The lawyers are still fighting over bits n pieces and court dates are on the horizon. We closed the juice factory and retrenched or let go close on 100 people which was not fun either. I we got into “bed” with the national retailers and let’s just say that their feet smell and they snore a lot which is not very romantic. Its hard work but like a marriage we in through the good and bad times.
Thanks to my family and friends that supported me over this ridiculously harsh period of my life..
Lesson learned: don’t ever judge someone else’s family issues. Also: never repeat my father’s mistakes. Money is round. It comes n goes. Don’t chase it and don’t hold on too tight.
Huff n Puff
I stopped exercising in March. Completely. This was mainly due to just coming back from snowboarding (drinking) in Japan and then getting sick straight after my return home. Japan: a real 1st world country. Those people that say South Africa has pockets of the 1st world need to get over themselves. Our culture, our respect and our lack of respect is everywhere, regardless if whether you sipping frappe’s at Tasha’s in Melrose, doll! I loved Japan. I loved Japanese women. I loved snowboarding and I loved the break. I can’t remember laughing as much as we did in those few days. Thanks Hammie! <– follow him @MHammies on twitter
Lesson learned: appreciate my space, my buying power at home and remember what it feels like to be the minority.
My sister had Jack 2 years ago. He is undoubtedly the closest child I will ever have besides my own one day. As he gets older my love for him grows. He has shown me that I do actually like children (after 34 years of hate) and kids are adorable. I can’t wait to babysit – as soon as those nappies are no longer attached to his ass. I am amazed how he is developing and different he is to other children his age. He is gonna be a wild, physical child who is gonna pull some hot woman.
The other child which has had an impact on me is Ella, my best friends 8 month old daughter. I say she is impactful only cause it’s a lesson in my own mortality and age. My best friend has a kid. When did that happen. She is cute.
Lesson learned: you never know how having kids is going to change your life, your wife and your priorities. Also, you are never really ready. Make the leap with the right person.
The tech savvy social experience
I was on national TV. Twice. It was done for shits n giggles. Ok that’s not true. It was done to raise my Twitter followers count, which never really happened. I now have lots of married black mothers who watch 3talk with Noeleen following me and hounding me for tech and Twitter advice. Stop that. I’m a pickler, not a Nerd. Ok that’s a lie too, but nerds are cool these days. Twitter has taken over very large parts of my life. I was always one of those annoying people that said “ I don’t have an addictive personality!” which is true when it comes to Coke, Crack, weed n smack. But twitter is my vice. That and sugar. Twitter is the 1st and last thing I look at in my day. It’s always refreshing. And refreshing. And refreshing. That’s a Twitter joke for all you Facebook people that I now despise. I love how it all allows me to vent, to be stupid, to be dirty and to meet some of the coolest people in the country without any pressure. Its bulk blind dating and I love it.
Lesson learned: follow me on twitter @spillly (with 3 L’s biyaatch)
I love Ghana.
I was at that Ghana / Uruguay game where the country became African and the support was global. I cried big boy tears and for the 2nd time in my life I knew why it was the beautiful game. The 1st time was obviously when Tshabalala scored the opening goal at the opening game. I was there. It gives me shivers every time. I am not a big sports supporter. I was only going to one game, but in the end I saw 9 games all over the country and for one month this place was utopia. Work came to a stand-still and so did our lives. I was and am proud. It gave me renewed hope for South Africa and helped me #loveJozi just a little more again!
So that’s that kids. I have no plans for the December break, because of an ended relationship and I’m happy to be spending time with my Family, my dogs, my couch, my sense of loathing and twitter. I love my friends, new and old, black n white, rich n poor, famous and infamous. We end to start again.
If you feel I have left something out please feel free to start you own blog and rant like a lunatic. Don’t bother me with your issues.
I hope that I have made you smile at least once this year.
Thanks for the scars.