Spillly with 3 Ls

Here is the removed article from Kuli Roberts. In case You missed what all the fuss was about. #SundayWorld

Posted on February 28th, by spillly in Uncategorized. 41 comments

Jou ma se kinders

Last Updated: 2011/02/26

Being from Cape Town, I must say I miss Cape coloured women.

When I was young I used to love playing with their silky hair and wished I could get rid of my kinky coarse variety.

“What’s wrong with you?” asks my friend while applying skin lightener?

“Black is beautiful. Why would you wanna be any other race?”

I ignore her and her weave and go back to my dreams of being yellow and speaking like I’m singing.

Coloured girls are the future for various reasons:

They will never leave dark foundation on your shirt after a hug.

You will never run out of cigarettes.

You will always be assured of a large family as many of these girls breed as if Allan Boesak sent them on a mission to increase the coloured race.

They don’t have to fork out thousands on their hair as they mostly have long silky hair that doesn’t need relaxers or weaves.

They always know where to get hair curlers and wear them with pride, even in shopping malls.

You don’t have to listen to those clicks most African languages have.

They are the closest thing to being a white woman and we know you black men love them as they look like they’ve popped out of an Usher music video.

Their bruises are more obvious than ours, so if you hit her it will be easier to see.

They don’t have to send their sons to initiation school, where they stand a chance of getting a horrendous infection and even dying. My friend disagrees with me about coloured women.

She insists that black guys don’t date crazy people.

“What?” she says. “Coloureds are nuts because:

They drink Black Label beer and smoke like chimneys.

They shout and throw plates.

They have no front teeth and eat fish like they are trying to deplete the ocean.

They love to fight in public and most are very violent.

They’re always referring to your mother’s this or your mother’s that.

They know exactly what tik is.

They love designer clothes.

They love making love and leave even the randiest negro exhausted.

They walk around in their gowns and pyjamas during the day. What is wrong with my friend? I wonder.

So what if folk walk around in their gowns and pyjamas during the day, especially since they will eventually go back to bed?

Why waste washing powder?

Shouting is also sometimes necessary, especially when you speak to folk like Jimmy Manyi, who might not have a clue what he is talking about.

Designer labels are mostly made in the Cape so why should they not love them?

Referring to one’s mother should also not be an issue unless a monkey gave birth to you.

Besides, reminding you of your mother shouldn’t be a bad idea. Call her now.

What the hell is wrong with loving sex? Should they hate it?

Just because my friend is a lousy lay doesn’t mean the entire coloured nation should not like protected sex.

Knowing what tik is doesn’t necessarily mean one is using it, I told my daft friend.

Saying they are violent is also a generalisation.

I know plenty of coloured fraudsters and coloured Hari Krishas.

Of course I miss Cape coloured people. Which other race do you know that is more obsessed with naai masjiene, Oh, and I don’t mean sewing machines.

Besides, only in the Cape would you hear somebody screaming out: “Jou ma owe jou hond sex geld!”

41 responses to “Here is the removed article from Kuli Roberts. In case You missed what all the fuss was about. #SundayWorld”

  1. Pheli says:

    Show me one person who has never thought at least one of those things about coloured women. I know I’ve thought them and said them aloud to my coloured friends. We all speak about these stereotypes with our friends but get offended when they’re aired! good one Kuli!

  2. kallid says:

    Kuili en jou mase push !

  3. Heartbreaker says:

    Khuli and also Pheli freedom of speech seems to give a certain part of our great nation carte blance to incite and divide with senseless drivel. and oh plz 4giv me my typos coz 1)my public phne (samsung) dnt hv a spel checkr and 2) we type and sing as we speak

  4. Naiman says:

    From a comedian I can take it, this is just seriously unfunny

  5. Lady G says:

    Kuli shouldn’t mess with coloured girls, she’s begging for the beatdown of a lifetime… someone pepperspray that igneranous… if it was a white woman who wrote about traits of black women this would’ve been taken far more offensively, kuli should get a life or maybe lose it cause she’s seems suicidal!!!!!

  6. XploreMag says:

    I think everyone should laugh at themselves. I do so every morning as soon as I get over the shock and denial. But I have to agree with Naiman – if you’re gonna poke fun, at least try to be funny.

  7. Nato says:

    It is very easy to make these races comments being Black today and it will be seen as a joke “because I’m black” but as soon as another race joke about black people then it is a real big issue… SA check yourself

  8. Nebz says:

    I thought this was so bad, this is just funny. And you’re right Pheli, everyone(maybe a few) is just angry because it involves them and is aired. In a different circumstance, they laugh out loud, while in their homes conversations about ”them” carry on. We get disapproving looks as if we’re not suppose to be around where they hang out. Kuli, apologise for publishing it. It does not incite hate, it’s suppose to be for laughter, even a country must laugh at itself to remain sane. We are mostly stereotyped, and we laugh at this, because it makes us who we are. Kuli it’s not a great one, but funny. Freedom of laughter viva!

  9. Nebz says:

    Nato you know why? it is called history my brother. Yes you are right, if another race (in particular caucasian) would interestingly make such jokes, it would be racism, sort of, because unless they live among the people, understand where they came from, it is understandable. In short, it would be more ignorance (a cause of racism) to do such a thing. And for the caucasian brothers who live among the people, they know perfectly well, they are welcome to share a joke or two about the darker man. Perfectly acceptable, but nonetheless, there are bounderies. This piece in particular is not racist more than stereotype, call is ignorance rather than racism. That is something else. Maybe we get too ”racist” sensitive as we do not understand the meaning or have lost it in a democratic society.

  10. Nebz says:

    And hell yeah I have witnessed laughter at black sisters wearing wieves from cape coloured folk, that’s not a lie, and from black folk. I have witnessed and laughted at black sisters applying lightner too much, coz it is ignorance. And yeah, most definetely I have witnessed cape coloured brother being ”caucasian” at varsity rather than being black. That is why is it easy to distinct cape coloured from none-cape coloured in south africa. Keep the race card in your pocket, unless something incites hate and is disctiminatory (if there is ever such a word)

  11. Bruin-o says:

    Kuli ‘tarded to be saying things like that out loud. At some point we’ve all said k@k things about others based on race… but who gives a sh!t, its only words. SA is still very racist & will remain so long in2 the future. Just gotta roll with the punches & pity the ignorance.Sincerely yours,Bruin-o

  12. Kullidlady says:

    The comments are actualy more offensive than the article itself. This was not well written and of poor taste but if people like Pheli suggest that it is fine to stereotype, then we should do it all the time. Call black ladies golddiggers, white women easy etc. Substitute the National anthem for Kill the Boer and the De la rey song, bring back the “K” word. Yes, the article was directed towards cape coloured women but to think that a woman wrote this article to put other women down is even more pathetic.

  13. Tammy says:

    Hi, Does anyone have Tyron response that was on 5fm (DJ Fresh’s show) about this article. I thought it was frikken funny… Anyone?

  14. Pheli says:

    I’m hardly suggesting that itis fine, all I’m saying is that we all do it and that we should not persecute people for doing the same. In my group of friends there is a “mixed breed” who we call a hybrid, an Indian who we call Bunny Chow Doggy, a Pedi who cant speak Pedi and I call her all sorts of names. I also have plenty of my own. It’s funny when we do it in private so should it be otherwise when its aired? Kuli was trying to be funny and it has been misinterpreted. South Africans seem to be way too sensitive. Have a lough its good for you! 🙂

  15. Nebz says:

    Kullidlady cheer up for a minute, there’s nothing offensive about the comments, if they are lies point it out, eventually you have the power. And don’t mix up stereotyping and racism. Calling ALL black ladies gold-diggers is generalising, is more generalising and stupid than racist, well the K-word, is kak racist as it has death and clear implications attached to it. So that is out of the question. De La Rey, can’t be compared with Kill the farmer coz De La Rey is tribute. If the shoe fits ….

    • Kullidkid says:

      Nothing offe sive? Nou daais net kak! Weet jy wat? Daai meit het pakslae nodig!
      In aaalll my years as a comedian, Ive never taken the li erties this Kuli woman has… shes insulted and degraded using generalisations and needs to e taken to task for it. While youre at it, add that idiot Pheli in as co-defendant.

  16. Nebz says:

    Kullidlady just thinking … why would K-word be even part of this? sounds like people actually want to use this word, but cannot find a suitable reason to. Let me give us definition of Kaffir (oops there it is) – Kaffir: a term (used originally by racist caucasian South Africans to degrade(edited by me)) Black Africans. The term was taken from Arab slave traders in Africa, who had used Kaffir to mean someone who was not a believer; in their case, a non-Muslim. Europeans then applied the term to Africans, as unbelievers in terms of the Christian faith.Use it ignorantly if you want, it has nothing to do with race. Happy victim-finding though lol, again if this does not apply, ignore it

  17. cape coloured says:

    i think the article is soooo funi obviously not being a coloured she has no IDEA.. cape coloured , kaffir, boer, kulie .. all these words should not even matter in this so called new south africa. ppl say blacks are soo dumb/onooslik they dont know how or why they make it in gov/corp, then theres another that all whites are snobs and the indians are so suinig not forgetting the norm that coloureds do the 4teeth out thing and we very plain. Well i have met indians thats dumb, blacks thats the worst snobs whites with 4teeth out and coloures thats suinig. so whatever goes on in the world its not a coloured thing black thing bla bla bla yada yada yada its just a peoples thing…

  18. Kullidlady says:

    Pheli and Nebz. I have chilled and have thought of what I actually wanted to say with my comment…call it defending myself if you’d like. I am not Cape coloured and non of the statements above apply to me…..except maybe that I used to drink an occasional black label at varsity…..like us poor students did and I would love to leave my Zulu/Tswana boyfriend exhausted.The examples that I mentioned was a list of offensive things that we could throw around. My point: When something is offensive, just because you dont think so, let it be. Dont make it off to be nothing. We should’nt just brush off things otherwise things fester and get worse.I dont know if you are ladies but the thing with this stereotype is that ALL coloured ladies would be seen in this way. How would you know if Im Cape coloured when you see me. And to be degraded like that as a woman is worse.

  19. Kullidlady says:

    Ooooh please I dont mean “Im not Cape coloured and the things in the article dont apply to me but to them. Just specifying as per the article before my own people stone me

  20. Chirimuhenga says:

    Hoe yereee ek lyk dis. Dis sommer lekke grappie you ma se Kullie. Why mek a noize out of dis. Next time have a joke about Xhosa women, would love to hear something about these Xhosa naiers too. Ek het gehoor hulle even coloured women can not stand Xhosa men with their dolls et tu suster.

  21. Stefan Eksteen says:

    Kuli, as a coloured man from the republic of cape town, I have never laughed so hard and found this article no less offensive than funny…People who are pissed off at this article are not merely upset about the contents of the article, but they are upset because this article reflects their characteristics and personality.Go and write another article about Durban charras and Joburg coloureds and even though you might get the same response, I and many other coloureds will laugh…

  22. Kullid says:

    Ohhh…Kuli….your husband is white, don’t you forget that. .. What is you kids….let me guess….black and white makes…..KULLID….wach what you say, you may just be busy bringing up one!

  23. calkea says:

    Oh WoW Hitler got a BLACK FACE

  24. bsting78 says:

    I am a cape coloured and I take as much offence to this article as any of those buppies would when you call them coconuts. I agree that one should not take this article to serious but in the same breath such blatant ignorance should be dealt with quite sternly. The point that bothers me most is how an absolute idiot like this could be put in a position where her warped views are being allowed to influence the more feeble minded sections of the public, which is quite clear when I read some of the comments above. The powers that be should have never allowed that article to have left their desks in fact the only place that this article should be released is down the business end of a toilet because it’s filled with nothing but sh…… Ps. Oh yes Kuli Roberts Jou me sewing machine

  25. Danny says:

    I am in disbelieve, Kuli, this rude I don’t think you are a good custodian of a public platform. I don’t have the skill with me, but can’t we lobby to via writing to have this person removed from her position. Not even the most vile SA comedian would dig this low. Jy is vuil!

  26. Heartbreaker says:

    Hasn't she already  been removed? We should just guard that they don't keep her on to write under a pseudonym

  27. Joy says:

    it saddens me to say but i think Kuli has internalized the loathing that apartheid spread i.e hatred of self. furthermore, believing she can never be white, would then instead prefer to be considered ‘coloured’. just one of the many psychological effects of apartheid. as if we do not have it hard enough out there, as Women of Colour, she then writes about this drivel forgetting how difficult life is for people living in these conditions. And then even if you have made it ‘out’, we still have to deal with racist corporate South Africa. but that is what happens when you loose touch and forget the road it took to get you to where you are. just take a good look at government and you will know what i am talking about. this has got little to do with coloured women and rather a reflection of Kuli herself- a women with very limited self perception and value!

  28. Nelson Mandela says:

    ….could everybody PLEASE just take a F*%@ING chill pill and RELAX!…..i mean theres starving children u can concentrate your whole energy to helping…all im saying is EVERYBODY needs to F*&%ing relax…TOP THINKING ABOUT URESELF and F*&%ING GROW UP!(excuse the French shame)

  29. Joy says:

    <tr><td>go get fucked up the ass!—</td></tr>

  30. Bruin-o says:

    Wow Madiba…i can see you obviously staying very calm about all this. Maybe ur curlers are a bietjie to tight…restricting blood flow to the brain

  31. Durbanite coloured girl! says:

    Oh why oh why Kuli, do you know what you have just done to yourself, career and of course your security. Better watch your back in the Cape I am sure a few coloured chicks will defenitely give you a good whipping if you bump into them.The article actually started off great with the compliments but nose dived as you were relaying what your so called friends’ comments…Cmon girl u should know better everything has it’s limits…!

  32. joburger says:

    aggh! please,this is the worst piece she has written.Kuli can be blunt.y r pple scared to hear or tell the truth,please stop denying who you are.she jokes abt our black men all the tym yet we laugh it off nd now just describing how or who coloureds are then is an issue.guys grow up and make tym for beta things rather than complaining for stupidity

  33. Nosipho says:

    This is not funny at all. I am a black woman and quite frankly find this offensive. If a white woman wouldve written this about a black woman, all hell would break loose. Kuli needs to grow up, she knows better!!!

  34. Mercedes says:

    i am suprised at how people are overreacting over such a petty article, she praised them first why dont thy look at that, or isv everything in that article according to coloreds a lie? i am a black woman married to a colored guy and we all know that everything on that article is very true, they do breed, drink like fishes, loud and fight, all that was mentioned was true, but it was very funny i tell you very funny, i think Kulli should do a follow up.

  35. Know It All says:

    Mercedez and others who share their illogical response need a wake up….If this was said by a woman of another race about a black woman, all hell wouldve broke loose…So where do we draw the line?….So if it happens to you, it wrong, but if it happens to another woman of a different race, Its ok? Come on people…there are ways and means to express view, with boundaries…making comments like this to friends compared to airing an article publicly are completely different…..the circumstances, the environment, the face-to-face actions…..obviously, its ok then, but not through an article of this nature…….how simple minded can you be to give the ok to this article?…..

  36. eish says:


  37. Proud to be Kullid says:

    Ja Ne!!! Dont mind her, she wants to be kullid, that is why she has a white husband to add to the kullid population……………I be a kullid over and over again and never give the races a thought!!! Being coloured is ssssssoooooooocoool….

  38. Proudly SA says:

    This is not about “oh its just the coloureds that finds this offensive because its about them” thing, this is a human rights issue and I think the freedom of speech saying is being blown out of proportion for this obviously ignorant woman that thought just because she grew up with a few coloureds she has the right to disrespect them. This is a group of people she grew up with, there are black people, white people and even Indian people I know with similar tendencies so this is not a “coloured” thing, its a human thing. I find this article extremely offensive, not just because of the content, but to think there are still people out there with narrow minded notions after our parents fought for freedom and Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in jail for us. I find it disrespectful in light of this beautiful country but shame, lets not blame her because not all of us knows how to use our intellect in a tactful manner, bless her with lots of abundance SA.

  39. Honey Moon says:

    Exactly what her children are then

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